Sunday, November 25, 2012

Hosteria Santa Maria, Maiori, Italy

Bongiorno, my fellow foodies!  I have been a bit remiss in keeping my blog content fresh, but I have been distracted with planning, shopping and (most importantly) doing food research for our Thanksgiving Amalfi Coast trip (there really IS no distance too great to travel if it means avoiding yet another redneck dysfunctional family holiday...just sayin'). 

After enduring 16 solid hours of travel time (departing Tampa at 1:30 PM on Wednesday the 21st with layovers in Atlanta and Rome), the white-knuckled xanax-zombie flyer that is I had my semi-comatose arse loaded via handtruck into our oh-so-petite rental car by UD at the Naples airport around 11:00 AM on Turkey Day (somehow managing to also shoehorn my Zsa Zsa Gabor-esque cheetah-print steamer trunks as well as his lone carry-on into the trunk).  Thus, we were on our way...screeching around the majestically-beautiful-and-sphincter-tightening winding curves of the Amalfi coast en route to our lovely boutique hotel in Sorrento.  Happily, I was both exhausted and semi-drugged enough to be completely oblivious to the perpetually imminent danger of plunging over a cliff...and, since hunger never takes a holiday in Sweet Polly Land, I was ready for a wake-up snack.

During the course of our little road trip, we stumbled upon a story-book resto tucked high amongst a cliff overlooking the fabulous, sparkling Gulf of Salerno.  There was a bit of available parking with no crowds this time of year, so we pulled in.  What's not to love about this?

Or the view across the street?

Amazing, warm bread was presented almost immediately...along with a bottle of Prosecco (yay).

UD's starter selection of Fruits de Mer was a little more ceviche and a lot less breaded and deep fried than this redneck palate can easily tolerate.  While eschewing the anchovies and some other slices of pescatarian flesh I think our server might've referred to as "heaven fish" (despite the fact that it didn't look all that heavenly to a non-raw fish eater such as myself), I did nibble a bit on the octopodi and even tried one of the little noodle-esque offerings before I noticed it was still wearing its tiny face (baby eel).  Really, Dogboy? You knew I was still xanax-laden when you put it to my lips.  Hopefully, our marriage can survive this serious transgression of trust.

Does this look like the countenance of a competent culinary decision maker...or more like that of someone who'd cheerfully lie back and let you harvest her organs with nary a whimper?  That baby eel feeding incident would not be considered consensual if judged by a jury of our peers.

We had a wonderful and totally non-English speaking server who steered us in the right direction with our amazing entrees.  UD was presented with thick and hearty pasta strands laden with red sauce and tons of clams, mussels, octopus morsels and shrimp.

While I agreed to wait a bit for the sheer, creamily al dente perfection that was my risotto with mixed seafood.  OMFG.
Yes, you wantz this!  Beautiful restaurant and stunning location...both conveniently situated in one of the most beautiful countries in the world.

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